Have You Ever Said ‘I’m Ok’ When What You Really Wanted to Say Was ‘I’m Broken’?
I get you, sis, I’ve been there and this message is for you my dear sister:
Those moments of ‘I’m ok’ when what I feel that ‘I’m broken’ remind me of this quote by Rumi:
‘When I’m Silent I Have Thunder Inside.’
RUMI
It reminds me of this quote because sometimes you really do have days when you have thunder inside but you’re silent. Those days when there’s not only thunder rather a storm that is raging inside but you’re with people who are not ‘safe’. They’re not safe enough to see your real emotions. They’re not safe enough for you to be your true self and express yourself as you really wish you could. I want you to know that ‘it’s ok, it’s normal in fact’ and that that there is nothing ‘wrong with you and that what ‘they do, or what ‘they’ say or what ‘they think is not your primary concern and neither is it in your control. Most importantly, it is DEFINITELY NOT a reflection of your worthiness or your deservedness.
I also want you to know that if you don’t feel safe to speak and be yourself, that is also fine and normal but there’s just one important thing you need to remember. Don’t let yourself believe that there is nothing you can do about your situation.
You can do something for yourself. You don’t have to wait for anyone else to help you and make you feel worthy or loved. You can do that for yourself, you can do that with your LORD. In that moment of grief, loneliness, and sadness you can reach out to your LORD and feel HIS love for HE is ‘Al-Wadood’ – THE LOVING ONE. He is ‘Ar-Raheem’ – THE MERCIFUL ONE. HE is ‘AR-Rahman’ – THE MOST COMPASSIONATE ONE’.
Take a moment to feel that love, that warmth, that compassion from your LORD and let it be absorbed into your being. Let it fill the cracks in your brokenness. Let it fill the holes in your heart when you find yourself in this unsafe situation with a storm inside and be sure to get yourself away from wherever you are – away from the noise and the clammer – and give yourself some time.
Give yourself time to just feel, to just be, to let those emotions exist and then when at some point you pluck up the courage, do look them in the face, label them and acknowledge who they are and why they are there because if you keep them down for too long they will overtake and you may end up overwhelmed. You may end up saying what you don’t really want to say and doing what you don’t really want to do and that situation is best avoided by just facing that storm inside and giving yourself time and space; lots of time and lots of space.
And remember you need time. You need time to face those emotions. You need time to work them out. You need time to make decisions and you are entitled to as much time as you need.
Amidst the storm turn your eyes upwards and know like you know; that you’re here right now, that there is someone greater than you, greater than your emotions, greater than the whole situation, greater than the universe, someone, greater than everything, making a plan for you and it will slowly unfold even if you don’t understand right now and even if it is hard right now and even if you have to say ‘I’m Ok’ when you’re broken inside.
May ALLAH be with you as you get through your storm. Be kind to yourself and if you need help with your journey then I am here to help you.
Excerpt from ‘FROM BROKEN TO THRIVING’ by Maryam Akram
Soulful reflections on life, love, loss, healing and re-connection to THE DIVINE
Copyright @ Soulpreneur Life
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